Tuesday, December 23, 2008

My penniless thoughts - Mahathir.

I think this guy is a sensation. I am fascinated over him. Sure he's no Brad Pitt or Hugh Jackman or Megan Fox or Angelina Jolie or my director whose bodies and/or looks are fascinating work of art from God and I certainly don't mean to sound too much of a typical gemini but this guy's brain is just sensationally fascinating. The Ultimate work of art from God.

Of all the things I am most grateful is how he handled the country's economy during the 1997 Asia financial crisis. How he managed to exclude Malaysia from the IMF trap. Or else, my dear friends, we might highly likely to have become like Indonesia. A sum of money is loaned to us but the interest rate is more than we can repay, bringing our value of money down. Imagine us carrying thousands and millions of ringgits to a grocery store. Imagine our stagnant if not deteriorated economy. Who would want to invest in Esprit or MNG Outlets? Queensbay mall? Gurney plaza (let alone its expension now)? Pavillion? Borders Books (largest Borders Bookstore in the world in Times Square)? Life would be less interesting, true, but that is the least of all the problems. Crime rates would tragically worsened. and corruption too. Frustrated people. Radical religious groups would make matters worse. Forget about showing off furthering your studies or on the job training in the US or Europe we might even be the PATI*[Pendatang Asing Tanpa Izin] in the Phillippines or Singapore. Damn.

Instead of all that, we have managed to bring in a lot of outside investors (as in electronic giants Intel, Motorola, HP, Agilent, etc) into Malaysia by potraying our country's stability in a tangible manner as in hosting the successful Commonwealth Games '98. (Bear in mind that the impression that we are giving to the world is based on, only stabilize countries, in term of economy and political can host such big event, and stabilize countries mean stabilized economy.) Thus, providing more job opportunities. Heck, we should be thankful to be able to get hold of a decent job with our second class University qualification. Changing fancy Nokias, Sony Ericssons,Motorolas or even Perodua models ever so often. Postgrads in India are taxi drivers and flipping burgers there for crying out loud !

Have you been to Putrajaya? Now that is a work of art that represents this great guy's brain. To me, Putrajaya is the icing or pepper or cili padi in a dish, which adds more ummph! to all the good things we have around us.

In my humble limited knowledge, this guy played an important role in creating Bank Islam, International Islamic University Malaysia, Tabung Haji among other things, just to name a few.

It has been said that, "Even in 100 years, or 1000 years, it is difficult to find another like him". And I am proud to say that I am living my youth from the result of his era, learn on his achievements and contributions while he is still alive.

Congratulations to Huspa

On the arrival of a healthy baby boy, Hazrat, on Sunday, 21st December 2008. Both baby and mom are doing fine.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Hits and misses !

2008 log of hits and misses.

H1tZ !!

**not necessarily in any order**

1. Watched Japan GT
2. Watched Beauty and the Beast the Broadway Musical
3. Passed the Insurance Agent test.
4. Bought my N95 after eye-ing it for 1 whole year
5. Bought my first RAZR series moto after eye-ing it for 6 years.
6. Finished the 10km-fun run event in the Penang Bridge marathon. 7.30am-9.30am. Oh yeah!
7. Installed Astro at home after considering its necessity for 2 years+.
8. Inbound trips to KL (3x) , Genting, Johor, Terengganu, Langkawi, Pangkor.
9. Finally, bought myself a new rug for the main hall and ceiling lights.
10. Bought me a new camera, CANON S5 IS.

Misses !!

1. Credit card debts free. Sigh....
2. Weight management.
3. Poor savings. :(
4. Learn a new language. (in progress...)

Msc? BA?

I'm spending the whole afternoon trying to figure out which field of study to pursue. Or rather...which should I pursue.

There's USM Solid state physics MSc. Related to the nature of the company I'm working in now. Browsed the schedule, seems to be sounds-ok-not-so-bad but I'm still not sure if it's gonna be fun.

There's the OUM Bachelor of Psychology with Honours, which is of my interest.

I was an engineering graduate and psychology? What - why - why -what?? (people will be like, whatintheworld? Why this course? again when they're still not able to absorb it, why psychology, again? and finally, what are u gonna do with it??)

Sigh !

In my other state of mind, this is really similar to choosing between a motorbike or a scooter. KTM 690SM or YAMAHA T-MAX. The scooter is (damn) kool but it's still a scooter.


tsk ! (Heh. Some wishful thinking!)

And solid state physics sounds bombastic and so mr-fantastic but psychology is a study of change and behaviour with all the examples around you and in fact you get the better understanding of your surrounding.

Sigh, I wasn't this indecisive some 10 years ago.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Happy 60th Birthday, Abah.

I pray for your long life, health, wealth (in every way) and happiness in life and hereafter. (and for mom too definitely). Stay slim, stay fit, stay healthy. May God love you two and grants His best places for you.

Amnesia - school years first half

I was in kindergarten for 2.5 years. I played and fooled around most of the first 1.5years. I remember making a lot of noise, throwing pencil in the air with a friend (a bad influence that one) in the class and then got punished (by sitting like a dummy while other friends have gotten their exercise books and doing their homework). Spent too much time in kindergarten, going thru a, b, c's over and over again, ended up as best student at the end of 2nd year.

Basically in the same class with the same classmates for 6 years of primary school years. Standard 1 Hijau, the first and noisiest. I remember even the gardener couldn't tahan our noise and had to scream from over the window to shut us up in std 1, that happened more than twice in two years' time. We'd eventually become noisy again 5 minutes later. Teachers have done their part and continously declared that ours is the noisiest class they have ever met. A few times the headmaster would step inside the class and stared-scanning the whole class whom were then as timid as a mouse. That did not prevent us from starting the noise all over again, as worse or even worse 7 minutes after. Imagine the wall street. Yes, like that.

I was the only one wearing baju kurung in standard 1. I hated the pinafore. Too girly. The ustaz thought I was from an alim family and assigned me, many times, to lead the class in reading verses in front of the class on the black board. Found out that I could do well in sports during the sports day of the school in std 1. Dad was so proud. Fell sick a day before canteen day and ended up with only 20cents in the pocket and heavy school bag the next day. Watched one stupid magic show (that was paid the previous week) and happy kids eating candies and ice creams. Mom and dad never got to know about this.

Std 2 and 3, afternoon session. Began to fall in love in reading. Admired std 5 and 6 students, their pieces of short stories in school magazines mesmerized me. Read them over and over again. School bag was damn heavy, but never complained. (Schooling was very exciting). School subjects didn't make sense to me. I didn't understand what I was learning. Mom asked to copy the subjects timetable but I didn't even know how to read the timetable. Asked a friend (teacher's daughter, teachers pet), she looked bewildered after finding out I did not know how to understand the timetable. Said silently to myself, one day I'm going to be cleverer than you, oh yea, I did and I did her good.

I hated my art teacher for making me, us, wanting to please her for her attention, she was biased. Only liked those cute faces in class. I had the 24-colour pencils with a pissing cartoon sticker on the box. She was amused, probably cause this comot girl had quite a-something there. Picked it up only to toss my new colour pencils on my desk after that which created quite a sound. She realized it, and it and in a don't care way said, "Ops, sorry" and walked away. What a B***h. I'm not surprised if she's rotting now with that kinda attitude. This type of people permanently get biased treatment from me throughout my life. Music class is fun. Singing and memorizing new song every week. Rating-numbering system was introduced. The highest ever got was 4 in std 2. Even that surprised me. Most of the time, I did not understand what the teachers were talking about and why we need to memorize kali-kali.

Std 4 and 5. Actively involved in badminton. Coach loved our team of four. Was nervous in my first tournament, but managed to beat up my later, best friend's sister. English society striked my interest. Began to fall in love with the language, together with strong courage from mom and dad (they discuss cum argue in english..so granma wouldn't understand). Computer class did not make sense to me. Dad retired when in std 4, baught us family motorbike.

Was badly down with fever during the finals in std 5. Still remember Dad told me that I did not have to be afraid if I came back with bad results for the exam on the way home from school on the motorbike. Truth is, I couldn't even remember sitting for any exams. Must have been some pretty bad fever. Result came out, it had never been that bad before. Top boy in class handed out my Alam & Manusia paper and said quitely that I had the worst result in the class. I couldn't comprehend his facial expression if he was concerned, surprised or repulsed. I on the other hand was very worried to be sent to the 2nd class in std 6. Never had that feeling before. With 3rd last position in my report card, good 'ol class teacher, Asa Yun, was still able to push me to be with my friends in the same noisy 1st class. I remember shouting and jumping after the announcement was made. She had a wide smile on her face upon seeing my reaction. She's no more with us. Down with a really bad sickness. Al-fatihah for her.

Std 6, got my period in January. My mind began to function and I began absorbing everything they taught in school. Exams were just a breeze. Actively involved in badminton, in fact too active. Mom came to school to meet with the principle abt it. Tho my results did not drop but mom had always have the nature of being paranoid, even up until now. Miss Principle assured mom that she would put an extra attention on me and I will get straight 4As. (Bloody principle. suka ati dia jaa..mati aku, i thought at that time). So there I was continuing with my interest with only the full support from dad. Mom hardly spoke to me then. Tho under the order of my dad, she sewn my white shorts, it was well admired by my teammates.

State coach tested me out with continous hard lobs during one of the tournaments in Alor Star. Injured my shoulder, quite badly due to that, and just before the final game in 2hrs' time, doubles semi-final. Silently prayed to God to immediately cure the injury and pain for this last game.. Made a promise to God and the pain disappeared almost immediately. I played like I was never injured before. I lost, but I was calm, and satisfied, I wasn't in pain and I had just witnessed a personal experience with God. With strong faith in God..you may get what you wish for. The pain did not even come back during the days after. The story of my faith. Regret to think that I hardly keep the promise even until now. Elected as reserved for the kedah girls team but NO, study should come first, mom said. Could have gotten that beautiful racquet+big storage bag that I have always admired if I joined the team.

Tournaments ended just in time before mom and dad depart for haj in June 1992, leaving us under the care of granma and a big axion case of coins. Started to learn the value of money. Recess time in school I'd have plain rice+fried chicken+gulai ikan for RM1.50, damn delicious. Late afternoons we'd stop the benggali roti in front of the house for breads or sugar candy for each one of us. 2yr old sis loved it very much. Lucky me she still had her teeth just fine when mom came back. Long mid term holidays and we attended extra classes on every school day in preparation for the big UPSR exam. Remember mom called from Mecca, wishing me birthday, realized that despite all the tight schedule i was having, how i was missing them dearly. UPSR trial was like a real exam and mom and dad were still away for haj.

UPSR came and done with. 3-4 more months to go before the year end school holidays. English society and BM club got the best of me. The languages improved. I continued my affection with studying. Must have been the hormones. The learned ones (me and some friends) got popular and became the pets for the new generation of young teachers, whom arrived and introduced some new exciting approach towards learning and fun activities. Gone were the days where teachers made other teachers kids their pets. How revolting.

No class for std 6 students. Played all kinds of sports you name it. Netball, basketball, voleyball, jog the football field 10 rounds etc... (how was I damn fit). Also learned that I was natural at making people laughs in my own way. Teasing people, I did best. Got shunned from sports-house hockey team for one mistake. Silently thought, I'm better than you guys in many other ways, I'd leave you guys behind before you even know it and I will not acknowledge any of you if we ever met in the future. I really did.

Crazy about books. 3pm sharp in school library, borrowed almost half of the library books. James Bond series, greek gods myths, science fiction, history, islam history and akhlak, everything. I wasn't nerdy tho. I cycled, raced with the boys to tuition classes and socialized with the girls. Life was getting a new turn and I enjoyed every moment.

Hari Penyampaian Hadiah - I was sitting in the crowd waiting and watching the many school performances. Until I was called by one teacher to line up for prize giving ceremony. I didn't know what it was for but the I could imagine the teacher just told me to just line up. In front of me was the same top boy, he said, you're receiving the prize for the best girl student in school. You don't know?? This time, he shook his head. (God does has His own way of arranging the things around you, doesn't He?). Tho I knew I was best girl in class, it never crossed my mind to have received such an honour, my extra curricular activities really did a bunch of help. Teachers' sons and daughters cum other teachers' pets have always been the 'it' people and favourites. How have I beaten them teachers and them 'it' people hands down to the ground. Break them legs, and crushed them.

Came home, showed the plaque to my parents. They were shocked. Terkilan to have missed the event. Nobody from school informed them even. Heck, maybe i was too busy playing all sorts of sports that the teacher couldn't get hold of me. Thank God she finally did on the day itself.

UPSR result came out. I wasn't best student for nothing. :-)

.....but computer was still incomprehensible for me.
.....mom, dad, I love you.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Marry a bastard. Marry an asshole. As long as you are married. Or we'll forever be ashamed of you.

..mom and dad's mindset.
Damnit. It's almost 10am in this workday-morning and I haven't start working on any tasks. Despite that, I've got 3 thumb drives of pictures of three different events to be uploaded in facebook, I've got my moto V6's firmware to be upgraded, I've got to figure out how to play .flv files in my N95 as I've found a way to download youtube videos but I'm doing none of these either.

I've got the tool form to be created in InfoPath. Wana has been into creating the DEAL form for the past 1month+ and it looks like a lot of editing work. She's the expert now. I'll check with her. Other than that, 4 change requests and some new FTRs.

I've got One of those days where I left my rhythm (most probly might still be) sleeping in bed. Duh. It was raining when I got out of bed this morning.

Gotta get a dose of fridge cold chocolate drink for a kick start on the brain.

hold me now

I'm 6 feet from the edge and I'm thinking
maybe 6 feet ain't so far down..

...just to feel the wind on my face.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008


I have been eye-ing this phone for four years+, even before the V-series was introduced.


V3 - no memory card
V3i - too slim
V3x / V1150 - crazy about this phone first. But too expensive, RM1K+.
V6 maxx - now, I can finally buy...nevertheless, it's a motorola reconditioned product, made in Germany (at least not China).

I was waiting for a friend in Sunway Carnival one weekend, couldn't bring myself to go to Esprit Outlet, I might end up buying yet another pair of pants.

A thought came across my mind, telling me that maybe I can start looking for that Motorola phone that I have always liked, the V series. Besides, I have been using a dear friend's backup set as my 2nd phone for a few weeks already, I should be looking for a new one.

So in I went to each of the phone shops available at the 2nd floor. The one within my budget is RAZR V6 maxx and based on the reviews on the internet, this upgraded version is not bad.

I entered the last mobile phone store on 2nd floor. The one near the carpark. The salespeople were excitedly introducing me to Motorola V series. They themselves are using various V series. And they were especially excited showing the modding they did on their phones. Got me excited too. (fyi, we can mod our moto phones at modmymoto.com.)

Cik guna phone apa sekarang?

OK, apa you punya number, I nk show you something.

Gave him my number and he started calling me from his V6, as he walked some 1.5m away towards his laptop. Turned on some disco-techno music at high volume.

Boleh jawab phone? Ok, jawab, jawab your phone.
As I'm answering..
Cik boleh dengar tak suara saya?


Clear tak?
Ya, ya, very clear Sangat clear a? OK, now tukar phone..

I took his V6 and my N95 was facing the pumping high volume techno music

Sekarang cik boleh dengar tak suara saya??..................

Oh dear, I was quite ashamed of my N95 at the moment.

There was a significant difference in the voice clarity of both phones in a very noisy backgound condition. His V6 could filter the noise excellently, tho the high volume disco techno sound is pumping at the back. Whereas, the music was annoyingly visible on my N95.

Other than that, there is the option to lock every application in the V6, just what I have been looking for. Ya, ya, you can download certain softwares that offer the same security function...but you gotta pay for that software. And it is usually in USD. Or else, you will get a just a trial version. Until now, I have not paid for any softwares for my N95. So, I would really appreciate a mobile device that offers a security option to lock my message box, my multimedia, even my phonebook. And this device offers a lot more than that.

Been in my hands for 6 days now. So far so good. I'm lovin it!

p/s : the plastic cover is foc. will come off once i accidentally crack it.

Too much.

I used to enjoy reading kennysia.com. Then like The Todd in Scrubs, he can't seem to help himself from not relating almost every single entry to sex. I'm beginning to wonder if he is actually a potential gay.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Sigh...i did have plenty of things running in my mind, some pretty interesting things, things to blog about, while i was lying in bed, twice two nites....but i can't recall any today....

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Penang Bridge Marathon in town


We're really looking forward to this event. It was scheduled in June this year, cancelled, then reschedule to this coming Nov 16th. We're going to join the fun run event again this year. No, I don't think I am fit enough to seriously run in the 10km event. Maybe next year..(same comment as last year)

Maziz, "Kak Ina dah imagine Jida menang lucky draw Proton Saga."

Well, I haven't been that lucky during lucky draw sessions all my life until I started working.

2004 - Water filter lucky draw at Dept dinner
2004 - Stand fan lucky draw at Company dinner
("Zamri : Menang lagi?! Betuah betul budak nie." Nada ala2 frustrated.)
2007 - 2day/1nite stay + lunch at Vistana Hotel, Penang lucky draw at Penang Bridge marathon event. (I was damn tired, took off my shoes, just 3 minutes sittin down, they called up my number. Grabbed my shoes and ran to the stage!)

Mom," Kalau menang leh juai keta tu kat siti."
Me, "mana leh. siti beli sendiri la. I want to sell the car and take us all for a trip to Europe."

Plus, I don't think my sis would want to drive a car same as her fav aunt's - MakYan !

Anyways, I have started to climb the 4 flights of stairs to my office in the morning from today onwards. (Not that bad, I could still breathe.) Walking to and fro the parking space to my workstation takes about 30minutes per return trip. Plus lunch time, that's 1 hour of walking everyday. Ok lah! This time I wanna reach the point where they gave out the flourescent bangles. Yay !

Get my N95 charged for some clear and nice pictures on the bridge.

When was the last time you took a picture on the notorious Penang Bridge?

2.45 per litre


RM20 at Caltex gave me a 120km ride. basically 60km/RM10...not bad..
Rm10 at Petronas gave me a 45km ride
Tonite, I just filled in RM10 at Shell...let's wait and see for the result..

Update : RM10 at Shell gave me 52.5km...better than Petronas.

yes, Ayu, you are right, turun pulak price minyak...but takyah buat study dah kot...it's either caltex or shell (considering shell is more conviniently available than Caltex).

Friday, October 24, 2008

Much ado about Guardian and Watson's

Bought myself a bottle of Palmolive shower gel. Packed together with a smaller size, priced at Rm13.88. Note : Sale!

Checked at a local supermart, Minat here in Taman Selasih, the same packaging and brand is priced at RM12.90.

Bought a box of the Michelle Yeoh Anlene at Jusco Queensbay. The same packaging and brand is priced at 50cents cheaper here at Minat, Taman Selasih.

I believe the same joke is available at Watson's. They are rivals anyways. How much will the price difference be anyways.

Can't wait to check on Carrefour's household items. Got to have a list of mine now.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I find no excitement with this job anymore.

Some are obsessed with promotion. They can never be satisfied with whom ever that got promoted. Even when they have already been promoted on the same year. Sometimes, they acted as if they have just closed a million Euro saving project successfully but overlooked for promotion.
Their standard greeting to you, "So how?", with a cynical smile on their face.
Standard greeting only goes to those who are not promoted.

"So how?"
"So how?"
"So how?"

Misscommunication between my boss and his boss and we ended up thinking (and believing) we were in the wrong boat. While a sister-department opens up an opportunity for the employees to reach up to a Staff Engineer level (with an extra of rm400 petrol allowance compare to lower engineer levels among other benefits), our pity little department graduates at a one level below. How sad.
About the misscomm, well, we kinda wrote the fact under the lowlight portion in our weekly meeting and a follow up meeting on this topic alone was set, this time with Mr Director. While Mr Director mentioned that it is possible to reach the higher level, Mr Boss gentlemanly apologized for delivering a wrong information. They insisted that it was a misscomm between us.
Being in a company which delivers microchips for high end european cars where zero defect is highly promoted, I couldn't help wondering in the meeting room, how did the misscomm start? They're both german, they speak the same language. Unless if..unless if what?? I can't imagine. And I wasn't the only one.

There is this funny thing, my first sneezes of the day, usually starts as soon as I am facing my workstation. This fact is agreed by the person sitting beside me. I can chat, I can have a discussion, breakfast at the canteen, but the first sneezes will be at my workstation in my cubicle. Not that hard to guess what exactly I'm allergic at..

And then there is this demotivating work related task from colleagues - cost centre change. Very, very demotivating.

The pay is credited into our account on the very last day of the month. If there are 35days in a month, then you'll get paid on the 35th.

We have changed, like, 4 bosses in 3 years' time. Obvious that we are in a wrong boat. Even the bosses jumped ship. The thing is, each boss seem to find the best time for their departure, they left a month before employees appraisal. Leaving a clueless (or still learning) new boss to 'fight' for your promotion at the round table. We're always at a disadvantage side.

The parking lot. Oh the parking lot....I don't mind walking from my car parking space, passing by building 1, make an entrance in building 2 and reach my destination workstation back in building 1 in a span of 15 minutes everyday. Good exercise. What I really mind is, the 50 metre 45 degrees hill climb everyday from the parking space to reach the point where you pass building 1. What is the deal with that? What's with the hill climb obstacle? We're going to work. It should be motivating in many ways all the way. But no, give them a hill to climb.

Monday, October 20, 2008

As this song started to play on my car stereo, I was driving off of my parents' to my house. Like a video with a background song, I bid goodbyes to mommy as she stood at the door, and daddy was closing the gate. As I drove further, passing by grandma's house, she was sweeping the floor outside her house. At 76 yrs old and still strong for house chores. I paused at the junction and looked at her as she continued with her task. Continued driving, the thought of my youngest sis and dearest bro came to mind. Their grinning faces oblivious. Reached my house, a dear buddy already arrived, smiling at me as she opens the gate. Song fading to end..

These are the significant faces in my life. Wrapped spontaneously in this song, as I made my routine drive from my parents' to my place. Thank God for these dearest people in my life, without which all the things that I have and hold would be meaningless.

How to save a life - the Fray

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
Also today, I just noticed that a fellow blogger complements her blog with my blog template. I'm flattered. ;)
I saw a primary school girl walking home in the rain yesterday. Heavy school bag on her back. No umbrella. Drenched wet. I could see water splashed from her shoes as she fasten her pace. I passed by her in my car, she took a glimpse at me.

Today I'm thinking, her books must have drenched wet too. Did she manage to dry them for school today? What about homework? What about her notes. Dissolved? Hope she did not catch any fever. Would it make any difference if I offered her a lift? She'd still be wet. Her books were already wet. She had walked at least for 20minutes, and it had been raining for half an hour, I'm pretty sure, if it is written that she'll be catching cold she would have had enough reason and sufficient cause already. But on the other hand, this could be a matter of difference in morale. She might have had a different point of view. There is still good in people. And there is still hope for a better world. She could be praying for my well being. Still young, less sins. I can imagine her prayers reaching God much quicker than mine.

....welcome to a journey into my complicated mind.

I remember when I was at her age. Cycling to school. It was dark and heavy clouds dawned on us as it started to rain heavily in the middle of the 10minutes journey. We paused under a tree tho we know, it was not of much help we'd be soaked anyway. An unknown high school student, cared to stop between us and shared her umbrella with us. Stayed with us for 5 minutes until the rain paused, bid goodbye and continue walking to school. I was damn sure she was late for school. For some reason, both of us did not dare to turn and look at the owner of the umbrella. But I have always prayed for the best to come her way up to this day, with some little regret for not making the effort to just turn and see her face. I can't even remember if we ever said thank you. Now she remains like an angel who protected me from the rain on that very day on my way to school.

I saw a guy with one leg yesterday. Probably in his 30s, or late. I saw a girl of 5 years old walking around the Memory Lane gifts shop. There was excitement in her face. The guy was entertaining her actions. He realized his movements was limited within the cramped space of the shop and a number of other customers inside, so he slowly retreat to stand outside the shop with his crutch while watching the little girl trying to make her pick. He noticed I was looking at their actions. I noticed his face in a split second. I noticed hardship, I noticed emotions. She was probably his daughter. He was probably asking her to choose something for her birthday. He was also probably paying from his hard earned money. What does he do for a living? I wonder if it makes any difference if I had a few hundred bucks extra to give. Truth is, will it ever be a few hundred bucks extra to give? I, for instance, can usually close one eye and spend on movie tickets.

I feel bad. Remorse.

Today, I keep my faith strong. Turn to God and believe in Him and His just in understanding difficult situation.

Thursday, October 16, 2008


What is with women and their pms-es??? !

I mean, I pity guys around the world, for having to put up with this nonsense. I mean, it's pure baseless. Imagine yourself if your usual mood, suddenly someone, (i assume someone u know, of course) reacts to you with a tantrum like you have suddenly stepped on her shoes. wtf??

No, no, pms-ing is not a bloody excuse. No, seriously, i read somewhere, is it fair to excuse yourself out for blaming on your screwed up childhood in a case where you demand too much attention from your friends up to a point where you annoy them? That's one example. It may not be as bad as blaming it on your sanity for committing a series of murder, but excusing your unpleasant response or attitude on pms-es is just outragious. No wonder there are gay men everywhere. Women are too complicated, being emotionally demanding and unstable. If you linger around these pms prone people you'd end up getting your own moods upside down. Well not for me. It's purely ridiculous.

By the way, I'm a gemini.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

When I grow up..

I want to be a scholar..

Dictionary.com : a learned or erudite person, esp. one who has profound knowledge of a particular subject.

I do have a particular subject. I want to learn psychology. I want to learn psychology. I want to learn human behaviour.

So much about technical courses. I have never regretted taking up science stream in school and graduated in engineering. I'm proud of it. It helped me in shaping me to be the way I am and where I am now. Now, it's time for me to do something that caught my curiosity, something of my interest. Human behaviour, cultural, cross-cultural and social science are such interesting studies. A lot to learn about things that are closely related to our beings, manners, response, development.

...How Europians can maintain cleanliness in their cities, at home, in the kitchen compare to us for instance. How the state of minds and mindsets differ.
...Why are there so many accidents on our roads. What is it that we lack of? Why the Germans can speed a hundred and eighty kilometres per hour on the autobahn during winter and the accident rate there is not as scary as in our country. Again, how does our state of minds differ there?

Very intriguing.

And I also hope that by learning this field, I am able to better understand and handle my parents when they are at their golden age. I hope I can give them sufficient attention. Sufficient.


1. I'm easily feeling sleepy
2. I've been having subjective vertigo some 3-4 times a day
3. I can't focus on the next word to use at times
4. Workstream and phb 4-character transaction codes at work sometimes do not display at all in my mind when i need to use them. I'm usually caught in a blank moment when this happens.

Items 2, 3 and 4 show that I am having trouble staying in focus. I wonder if I am lack of sleep. I may not, but I'm pretty certain that I could be lacking some quality sleep. I can't seem to remember my dreams since...longer than lately..that's weird, coz I usually do.

I need to pounce some buckets of sweats outta me. I need to play. I want to run !!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

When you vote for opposition party..

1. Karpal Singh arrogantly questioned Kuasa Raja-raja and Sultan.
2. Anwar Ibrahim couldn't bring himself to bersumpah that he did not molest his assistant.
3. Teresa Kok - starting to create issues related to Azan.
4. What is PAS doing? They have to support all the three actions above. Is this an Islamic party? UMNO tak Islam, UMNO kafir. What are they doing now? Can't they question themselves on Anwar's inability to bersumpah? Menyokong saja Karpal Singh, menyokong saja Teresa Kok. Do they really think DAP would agree to a negara Islam let alone Hudud?? Then what are they doing right now? Hypocrite. Being hypocrite demi hasad dengki dan dendam on UMNO, sanggup memangku hal-hal yang terang-terang non-Islamic, mencabar kedaulatan Sultan and Raja-raja Melayu. This is PAS. Hypocrite.

Hypocrite definition :a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, esp. a person whose actions belie stated beliefs. - Dictionary.com.

That, to list a few.

Will we stand and watch our country falls into the hands of these people? Don't we see the possibilities of kuasa raja-raja and sultan dihapuskan in the future when these people run the country? Will we be like Singapore? No more azan. And what about Islam as agama rasmi negara? Perlembagaan negara akan dirombak if these people take charge.

Both parties have their issues, none is the ultimate. It is a quest to vote for the party who will cause less damage to the country, to us. Vote wisely.

In his defense.


Seks: Ahli PKR dakwa diperangkap


IPOH 23 Sept. – Seorang ahli Parti Keadilan Rakyat (PKR) yang pernah ditahan Badan Pencegah Rasuah (BPR) bersama Exco Kerajaan Negeri Perak berhubung satu kes rasuah baru-baru ini mengaku membuat hubungan seks dengan seorang wanita China.

Fairul Azrim Ismail, 30, bagaimanapun mendakwa dia telah diperangkap oleh BPR dan seorang individu yang dikenali sebagai Mohamad Imran Abdullah.

Fairul Azrim mengaku melakukan seks dengan wanita itu tetapi mendakwa dia tidak pernah meminta rasuah atau habuan seks.

Ahli PKR itu membuat pengakuan tersebut dalam surat aduannya yang diserahkan kepada pegawai Jabatan Agama Islam Perak (JAIP) di Kompleks Islam Perak di sini hari ini.

Fairul Azrim merupakan salah seorang yang ditahan BPR Ogos lalu berhubung skandal rasuah dan seks membabitkan projek membangunkan tanah seluas 36 hektar bernilai RM180 juta di Seri Iskandar dekat sini.

Dalam surat aduannya, Fairul Azrim mendakwa, pada 14 Ogos lalu, semasa dalam perjalanan ke Permatang Pauh, Pulau Pinang, dia bersama rakannya Zul Hassan dan Ruslan Sahat telah singgah di Hentian Rehat dan Rawat Kuala Kangsar untuk bertemu dengan Mohamad Imran yang membawa bersama tiga wanita yang dikatakan berasal dari China.

Katanya, Mohamad Imran kemudian membawa mereka pergi ke Batu Feringghi, Pulau Pinang dan menginap di Tingkat 4, Sri Sayang Apartment.

“Saya telah diberikan seorang wanita China oleh Mohammad Imran dan pada malam tersebut saya telah melakukan hubungan seks dengan wanita itu di dalam sebuah bilik di Sri Sayang Apartment.

“Semasa dalam soal siasat saya telah diberitahu oleh pegawai BPR, perlakuan seks kami bertiga telah dirakam oleh BPR,” katanya dalam surat aduan itu.

Rakannya, Zul Hassan yang merupakan Ahli Majlis Daerah Perak Tengah turut membuat laporan kepada JAIP tetapi tidak mengedarkan salinan surat aduannya kepada wartawan.

Pada 25 Ogos lalu, Zul dan Ruslan yang merupakan Juruteknik Perbadanan Kemajuan Negeri Perak (PKNP) didakwa terlibat dalam skandal rasuah yang membabitkan seks manakala Fairul tidak didakwa.

Kes itu turut melibatkan dua anggota Exco Kerajaan Negeri Perak dan seorang bekas Ahli Dewan Undangan Negeri (ADUN) yang didakwa meminta dan menerima rasuah wang.

Dalam surat aduan itu juga, Fairul yang dilepaskan oleh BPR dengan ikat jamin pada 21 Ogos lalu turut meminta JAIP menyiasat dan mengambil tindakan ke atas orang tertentu yang telah memfitnah, menghina dan menganiayanya.

“Saya membuat laporan ini kerana telah difitnah oleh Pengarah BPR Perak, Samsiah Abu Bakar dan pegawai-pegawai agensi itu yang mengatakan saya meminta rasuah wang dan seks.

“Mohamad Imran telah menganjur dan menggalakkan saya berbuat maksiat dengan membekalkan seorang wanita China,” ujarnya.

Sementara itu, Zul yang ditemui sebaik mengadakan pertemuan dengan pegawai JAIP di sini enggan memperincikan kandungan surat aduannya kepada JAIP itu.

Ditanya sama ada dia turut melakukan hubungan seks, Zul berkata: “Tidak mengaku tidak boleh, dia (BPR) ada gambar.''

Katanya, dakwaan BPR bahawa dia dan dua rakannya meminta perempuan China daripada Mohamad Imran adalah tidak benar.

“Kita tak minta, tak cari, Mohamad Imran yang hantar. Serupa juga kalau orang bagi sedekah, awak tak terima ke sedekah itu?’’ ujarnya.

Turut mengiringi mereka berdua ialah Ketua Wanita PKR, Zuraida Kamaruddin yang juga Ahli Parlimen Ampang dan bekas ADUN Bota, Kapten (B) Usaili Alias.

Habih mulia lah tu. Dah buat maksiat lagi mau salahkan org lain 'menggalakkan' dia buat maksiat. Depan tuhan nnt dia nk cakap mcm tu lah gamaknya. Pastu to strengthen his defense, tambah pulak kata tak boleh nk tolak, terpaksa menerima maksiat tu sbb tu sama mcm sedekah. Punya la mangkuk. Ada ka. Sigh, fairul azrim ooii..apa kes la hang nih.

Monday, September 08, 2008

Ode to Siti Mariam

2007 and it was the Penang Bridge run day, held on the same weekend as the Japan GT in Sepang. I remember me wondering then, how am I supposed to go to Japan GT 2008 if these two events are scheduled on the same weekend. Lucky, 2008 Penang Bridge Marathon was cancelled this year.

For the first time, the marathon introduced a 'Fun Run' category, which saw 21,399 participants amounted in total from..i don't know..the usual less than 15,000 participants, i bet, as some 8,000 people were contributed from the Fun Run category. It was a really happening day, which started as early as 4.30am for us. For all of us who are frequent users of the Penang bridge, i personally label it as having a notorious traffic scene and you can never really predict a traffic jam even during weekends or 12mid nite. It was a Fun Run alright, some of the participants carried along their digital SLR cameras, I mean, who would've 'thunk' you would be strolling along the whole stretch of the notorious penang bridge until USM Minden entrance, taking pictures, sceneries and all. The weather was nice, the sun wasn't too hot, we strolled along and we didn't sweat as much as in the sauna. So it was a nice and pleasant experience altogether.

After the "run", a friend mentioned of another friend who was then hospitalized in Lam WahEe private in Penang. We made a short visit, and I was introduced to Mariam. She was friendly and we greeted each other like we were no strangers. Most of my social friends are from my previous company, although some of them are newbies hired after I left, I have still managed to create new social circles around them. But I guess me and Mariam, we might have had a brief chance of working under the same roof as we were chatting and acknowledging each other's names.

Tho appeared to be weak, she managed to smile and talked about her first ordeal in accepting cancer and surgeries. It started off of a condition she thought was just constipation. Little did she realize that it had been a full month since the last time she moved her bowels. I am not sure if there was any pains that triggered her to go for a check up, but the outcome was devastating, a tested cell showed positive of cancer in her colon and she had to go for an immediate surgery. First surgery was fine a few days before, but tests still needed to be done. She had a bag with a part of her colon in it hanged outside her belly. We learned that there will be a couple more surgeries and chemotherapy indefinitely. Strange tho the conversation revolved around cancer and surgeries, the aura surrounding us was pleasant. I remember her telling us that she learned from one of the attending docs that there is a patient who is so positive to live, he actually went scuba diving with his colon hanged outside his body in a bag. She was not fully vibrant but she was optimistic about healing, that, we can tell.

Once in a while as I picked up friends for lunch, we would meet at the vendor lobby entrance. We would have a brief chat of ,"hi-hey, hows life, how u doin" and we'd had some short laughs and plenty of positive auras exchanged. Friends said she walked slowly, sometime looked pale, but she had always been optimist about healing. Work resumed as usual, lunch dates and all. Tho she'd feel bad about having to leave work for her chemo sessions but she could be more passionate about going to work compare to us healthy ones.

I will always remember that the day i walked together with thousands and thousands of others in white t-shirt on Penang Bridge, was the day i met Mariam, whom has so far in my eyes had shown a strong courage in living through cancer. Since the Penang Bridge run day, she had gone through a constant chemotherapy to kill off the cancer cells. One year after that, as of last week, she underwent a final surgery, went into a comma and finally succumb today morning, Tuesday, 17th September 2008. 28 years old and fell in her battle for survival thru cancer. But with grace.

May God rest and bless her soul. May things smooth on her in the underworld and may she is always in peace. Al-Fatihah.

Saturday, September 06, 2008


You're trying to be nice to every-one..but you turn out to be nothing but a two-face.

Monday, September 01, 2008

My sis's new NoteBook

Snippet : It was a long weekend and we had a little family gathering. My bro and sis came back, man, was I excited. Distance makes the hearts grow fonder.

We were surveying for a new laptop for my sis. Apparently, my good ol' pc wasn't working properly. I realized a little too late that the old building of the dorm needed a voltage regulator for electronic devices, so currently, the pc's ps/2 and usb ports are not functioning. I detest to think of how else the pc is affected. I will check on it, one day, sometime this week.

Anyways, three of us, me+my bro and my sis went off for a day of outing to buy a new laptop. Prior to that my bro and I made a courtesy visit to the local pc fair last two weeks, so I managed to survey and collect flyers and brochures, thus, 2 weeks to browse and identify some power vs value for a typical engineering undergrad student usage.

I am a sceptical pc user. It has to be a pentium. and a pentium core 2 duo in fact. I am all about multi tasking, I open multiple applications at the same time and I expect things to keep up with me, not the other way around. After reading various sites of operating systems performance versus each other (that is pentium models vs amd models), tho the comparison might come to a head to head challenge, I've chosen pentium over the multi tasking ability it has.

So here's the full spec:

Lenovo IdeaPad Y410-T5750 Notebook
Intel® Core®2 Duo processor T5750 (2.0GHz, 667 MHz, 2MB L2 Cache)
14.1" WideScreen WXGA with VibrantView
OS = DOS. Upgrade to Windows Vista Premium
Memory = 1024MB upgrade to 2048MB.
HDD = 160GB SATA HDD (5400rpm) upgrade to 250GB SATA HDD
Dual Layer Multiburner Drive (DVD-RW)
Intel® Graphics Media Accelerator X3100
10/100 LAN
Intel® PRO/Wireless 3945 ABG, Bluetooth
1.3mp Integrated Camera
Warranty = Customer Carry In - 1 Year Parts & Labour
HP all in one printer = RM215
Kapersky AntiVirus = RM80 / 3 registrations.
All in all, RM3215.

So far so good.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Dear God..Please keep difficult people away from me.

I think that they are not worth all the trouble of my effort and time. Amiin...

Sorrow, Success and Friends.

I recently put up a quiz in my facebook...

"True or false? It takes a good friend to share your sorrow but a greater one to share your success. "

It just so happen that all my life, I have been surrounded with friends who would gladly share their crying shoulders for my sorrows. I thank for that.
And I have also had but many encounters with those who gave me their cold shoulders over some of my achievements, tho these achievements are not even the ones that would usually be the type that they would write down in history, it's the kind that everyone have experienced before. This would usually go back to during my study years with one of my study group members, after the exam results came out, I happen to have scored better, the girl actually totally ignored me when we pass by each other in a quite corridor once, I was even smiling at her . I have always hoped that I will never be alone with her anywhere anymore. Kinda tough coz we were dorm mates. I have never told anyone in the study group about that. That is one example that I will always remember, courtesy of my pre-U year.

I may not be a big achiever, but there are at some points that I think I have made quite a personal achievement, which just so happen, news spread and some became a public knowledge among close friends. Sincerely, I'd rather not share personal achievements even with close friends. Just to avoid a sudden silence after they 'insincerely' responded to your news, next thing you know, you could be isolated. No more ritual gatherings whatsoever. Cold shoulders, you know, you will never want to be in this situation. It's cruel, yea, but it happens.

The next time you wish for a shoulder to cry on, try to think if it's your sorrow that is making them feel better...

To AyuIkhwani, her surrounding is that positive that her friends rejoice around the success. Dear friend, these are the friends you would like to keep and I am sincerely happy for you. Reading your blog brings smiles to my face.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

So Sick ! of Malaysian Politics.

The country's political arena sickens day by day. Clouding our 51st anniversary of independence in a mere few days...let alone, the beginning of the holiest month, Ramadhan, the next day.

‘Doa musnah sesama Islam’

PERMATANG PAUH 25 Ogos – Majlis solat munajat meminta kemenangan Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim di Masjid Bandar Baru Perda malam semalam turut bergema dengan doa meminta ‘dimusnahkan’ Timbalan Perdana Menteri, Ketua Polis Negara, Peguam Negara dan pengadu kes liwat, Mohd. Saiful Bukhari Azlan.

Doa yang dibacakan selepas solat Maghrib itu antara lain berbunyi: ‘‘Ya Allah... musnahkan Mohd. Saiful... (Tan Sri) Musa Hassan... (Tan Sri) Gani Patail... (Datuk Seri) Najib...”

Bacaan doa tersebut dipimpin oleh Ahli Majlis Pimpinan Tertinggi Parti Keadilan Rakyat (PKR), Dr. Badrul Amin yang bergema kuat melalui pembesar suara ke kawasan perumahan di sekitar masjid itu.

Mendoakan keburukan untuk orang lain adalah bertentangan dengan ajaran Islam. Rasulullah SAW melarang umatnya berdoa seperti yang dilaungkan di Masjid Bandar Perda itu.

Mursyidul Am Pas, Datuk Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat turut berceramah di masjid itu. Bagaimanapun beliau hanya tiba selepas waktu Isya dan tidak menyertai majlis doa munajat itu.

Ramai ahli Pas dari luar kawasan turut hadir di Masjid Bandar Baru Perda dan mereka melaungkan takbir bertalu-talu.

Majlis solat munajat Pakatan Rakyat turut diadakan di beberapa masjid lain sejak Jumaat lalu.

Pada masa yang sama Persatuan Pengguna Islam Malaysia (PPIM) turut menganjurkan solat munajat di Masjid Jalan Baru, Seberang Jaya pada 23 Ogos diikuti di Masjid Mengkuang Titi semalam.

Menurut risalah PPIM yang diedarkan di masjid-masjid di Permatang Pauh, solat munajat adalah cara terbaik untuk mencari kebenaran tanpa mendoakan kemusnahan sesama Islam.

PPIM menekankan, jelas kini kemelut yang berlaku semakin menghimpit dan menimbulkan banyak tanda tanya selain tuduh menuduh dan kutuk mengutuk yang melibatkan seluruh masyarakat negara ini.

‘‘Lantaran itulah persatuan (PPIM) ingin mengambil langkah proaktif demi memelihara ukhuwah sesama umat Islam,” kata risalah itu.

Why oh why dear humans, you call yourselves muslims, bersatu teguh, bercerai roboh, we are no difference than the rich arab countries...fighting each other, giving the religion a bad name.
I can only imagine God's wrath looking down on us. i can also say that i miss our fourth prime minister, he did fight for the nation and religion (mahathir's selected letters to world leaders - book - explaining Islam and peace to the world leaders during/pre/post war against "terrorism" or rather...western world vs muslims. highly recommended.) but there is yet a real leader who is stronger than him, thus worth missing for.

Sumpah Saiful: Mufti sangkal dakwaan Imam Masjid WP

KUALA LUMPUR 25 Ogos – Dakwaan Imam Masjid Wilayah Persekutuan, Ramlang Porigi bahawa sumpah Mohd. Saiful Bukhari Azlan tidak mengikut syariat adalah tidak berasas kerana dibuat tanpa merujuk kepada mana-mana kitab.

Mufti Wilayah Persekutuan, Datuk Wan Zahidi Wan Teh berkata, adalah menjadi kesalahan yang besar sekiranya seseorang memperkatakan mengenai hukum agama berlandaskan akal fikiran semata-mata.

“Ia tidak ada mana-mana rujukan, hanya berdasarkan pendapat peribadi dan ini salah besar... bercakap hal hukum berasaskan fikiran sendiri adalah kesalahan yang besar dalam Islam.

“Hukum ini (bersumpah) adalah hukum Allah yang terdapat dalam al-Quran dan as-Sunah dan dihurai serta ditafsir dalam pelbagai kitab,” katanya pada sidang akhbar di pejabatnya di sini hari ini.

Beliau mengulas dakwaan Ramlang yang disiarkan beberapa laman web pro-pembangkang bahawa cara bersumpah Mohd. Saiful tidak boleh digunakan kerana tidak mengikut kaedah Islam.

Wan Zahidi berkata, Imam Ibnu Qayyim telah menjelaskan jika seseorang mahu memperkatakan mengenai hukum Islam, mereka mestilah bertanggungjawab terhadap Allah.

Katanya, bercakap mengenai hukum Allah dengan kepentingan lain selain daripada kebenaran adalah satu dosa yang amat besar.

“Malah dalam satu hadis ada diingatkan ‘sesiapa yang memberi fatwa dalam hal hukum tanpa merujuk kepada sumber ilmu yang muktabar, sedialah tempat (untuk mereka) dalam neraka’ kerana apa yang dicakapkan akan menjadi panduan masyarakat.

“Sebab itu apabila saya bercakap mesti ada kitab di depan saya. Tulisan saya ada rujukan, saya tak berani nak bercakap hatta melalui ingatan sahaja,” tegasnya.

Dalam perkembangan berkaitan, beliau turut menyatakan rasa sangsi dengan kebolehan Ramlang memahami kitab-kitab fiqh kerana ia memerlukan latihan khusus dalam bidang itu.

Katanya, jika latar belakang pengkhususan seseorang imam itu adalah dalam bidang tajwid, dia tidak semestinya layak memperkatakan mengenai hukum.

Ditanya adakah tindakan Ramlang itu telah mengelirukan masyarakat, Wan Zahidi berkata: “Saya nampak begitulah, dia tidak membuat apa-apa rujukan dan saya sangsi beliau boleh baca kitab fiqh.”

Mengenai dakwaan Ramlang telah diarah pihak atasan untuk menghadiri majlis bersumpah pada 15 Ogos lalu, Wan Zahidi menjelaskan, ia adalah prosedur biasa dalam pentadbiran sesebuah masjid.

Katanya, sebarang majlis yang berlangsung di masjid memerlukan kehadiran pegawai bagi tujuan membuat laporan kepada pihak pengurusan.

Sementara itu, Wan Zahidi mengulangi pendirian bahawa sumpah yang dilafazkan Mohd. Saiful Bukhari sebagai harus dan tidak bercanggah dengan syariat Islam sebagaimana pendapat ulama seperti Al-Allamah Abu Bakar Othman Muhammad Syatta al-Dimyati al-Bakri dalam kitabnya, Hasyiah l’anah al-Talibin.

Katanya, Abu Bakar dalam kitab itu menjelaskan bahawa sumpah atau ‘yamin’ terbahagi kepada dua iaitu dalam perbicaraan di mahkamah dan kedua, di luar perbicaraan.

“Dalam bahagian kedua ini, sumpah sah dilakukan oleh seseorang yang mukalaf dengan pilihan sendiri.

“Perkara yang menjadi objek sumpah pula ialah perkara yang lalu atau yang akan datang, manakala perkara yang digunakan untuk bersumpah ialah nama Allah dan sifat-sifatnya dengan didahului oleh huruf qasam iaitu ‘waw’, ‘ba’ dan ‘ta’,” katanya.

Imam yg sepatutnya memimpin...
like wana said, if he was sincere at all, why does he need to make the announcement under the certain political flag? Was that Saiful coming out and confession backed up and lobied by another flag? Why is it so hard for this Anwar to swear his innocence? Under God's name? his mother's name? If he is innocent.

If this so-called imam has his own prejudice, he should not be a witness at all. "He was forced to" ??? Was he even forced to say, "Sah! " at that time? Why did he not say, "Tak sah!" ?? Was there a knife at his throat? Even if so, shouldn't he "berani mati kerana benar?" Wahai Imam Perigi, si talam dua muka. Wahai imam Perigi, if it is not valid and teach us how so thru this Anwar.

Sick people playing such aggressive parts in the country. Many people took significance in these people's actions. Swearing in the name of God (valid - invalid issues) now sounds like a joke to the eyes of the non-muslims. If I am in the truth, why oh why should i be afraid.

I quote, "None is fit. But we have no choice. It is a situation of voting for who is "less-worse" than the other."

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Pathetic denial.


Pas dakwa sumpah Mohd. Saiful tidak ikut Islam

16/08/2008 11:51am

IPOH 16 Ogos - Pas mendakwa sumpah yang dilafazkan oleh Mohd. Saiful Bukhari Azlan tidak mematuhi hukum Islam sebenar dan merupakan satu kebodohan.

Presiden Pas, Datuk Seri Abdul Hadi Awang berkata, lafaz sumpah itu dengan memegang al- Quran adalah sama macam orang Kristian yang memegang bible. Oleh itu katanya, Penasihat Parti Keadilan Rakyat (PKR), Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim tidak perlu menyahut cabaran untuk bersumpah.

``Dia (Mohd. Saiful) patut di bawa ke Mahkamah Syariah dan kembali kepada Perkara 121 (1)(A) kerana perkara yang berkait dengan orang Islam wajib di bawah ke Mahkamah Syariah," katanya pada sidang akhbar di sini hari ini. - Utusan

...like a stage 4 cancer patient in denial.

"I solemnly swear, in the name of Allah the Almighty, and holy book of Quran and all its content.."

Which portion of the above statement that is not "Islam" ?

So what if there are Christian's common statements and common action as in holding the Quran? The christians say "Amen" and we say "Amin" as in "semoga dimakbulkan Tuhan", and we did not even mention "Allah" in there, so what makes the word, "Amin", more valid than his solemn swear above?

@Hadi Awang - where is your respect towards the name of God, Allah, and the holiness of Quran?

With Saiful Bukhary's swears, I strongly believe that this Anwar is as guilty as charged.

Friday, August 15, 2008

How to be closer to Allah..(and they say..)

Do not spend your life in empty endeavors and your time in idle talk
Find the right friend
Look for a perfect teacher who will lead you on the straight path.
Cleanse your heart
Eat less
Cleanse and beautify your days and nights with worship.

I talk a lot, i crack jokes on other people, i talk bad behind other people, i watch movies, i go to the cinemas, i listen to music, i love mcD and i can eat two burgers at one time, i eat a lot, among all other things that i do - my God, am i weak..how do I refrain myself from doing all these things. i can't immediately refrain myself, i'd rebel i might retaliate ..how do i cleanse myself, how do i cleanse my heart, i cant stop talking, i can't stop joking, i cant stop socializing..i can't isolate myself..i treasure my social circles...i can't give them the impression of in my quest to see the light, i kinda want to be alone coz you kinda drag me away from the right path..no, no..my friends are my 'neighbours'...God says, be nice to your neighbours..

So my dearest neighbours,

- Let us start with..
being thankful for having been born as a muslim - as much as it is sometimes hard for us to comply to all the rukun islam, it is actually much harder for a non-muslim to see the light, and kalau rukun islam pun susah, what if we were born as non-muslims? Despite the latest fashion, the mainstream lifestyle..will there be any firm chance that God will throw His light to all of us? Thank God, I am born as a muslim. Will sujud syukur for this, why not, start with after semayang lepas baca doa..when we're alone in our rooms..

- Let us start with.. menghayati kebesaran Tuhan..our full functioning limbs..the legs we use in every smooth step we take, the tongue we use to taste and to speak..the hands and full fingers we have to enable us to type on the keyboards..to carry the handbags..to answer our handphones..to lift our water bottle to drink (and many more)..let us be thankful to that..

- then, let us use our brains, just a little..in every hour of everyday that we communicate to each other..we tell stories, we joke around, we laugh, we eat, we socialize, we use our give tongue to talk about other people...let us once, or twice, think of Him, who has grant us with all these, and say his Name, praise the Lord, remember Him.
As we look at our hands and fingers, let at least terdetik in our heart, Thank you, God...for my perfect functioning hands..my eyes i use to look at my hands now, to see the road im walking, to see the beautiful men and women and cars and bikes, my legs for me to walk to work, to run to keep me fit, to squat in the toilet..my hands and fingers to lift pour and lift a glass of water to drink ..and to clean myself..all by myself..Thank you, God.
and the more we savour ourselves in these life's little things...and the rest will come naturally..

-eventually, we spend more time thinking of God's mercy and greatness
-eventually, we say His name and praise Him more often..

we won't need to refrain ourselves from...spending ourselves in empty endeavours and our time in idle talk..it will eventually come when we spend more time savouring the things we enjoy in life..
we won't need to refrain ourselves from eating too much..

the cleanse and beautify process, everything that is good, eventually take place..from the moment we be savour the fact of being thankful to be born as a muslim.

Strictly from my point of view on one of the ways to be closer to Allah.

Much ado about enlightenment.

My sis just enrolled in UTP. I find that, one of the things that never changed is how "Rakan Masjid" will try their best to go against a number of University events. I had the same experience in my university years, in fact, same experience once in a while until now. My ex-best friend for instance. Just why, oh why, couldn't these people approach in a more pleasant and ilmiah way? What is with the guerrilla way? If you nak berdakwah, bukan caranya bila dimulakan dengan bercakap pasal benda-benda negatif. Bukan caranya, bila dimulakan dengan pin-pointing other people's weaknesses, other people's bad things. Other events or celebration jahiliyah, perli-perli orang lain yg tak join majlis-masjlis agama. I personally do not think that it is right to start a dakwah or approaching your friends with stressing on how they live their lives. It's not that it is bad, but it is in fact will repel those around you from you.

Why not, start your dakwah, in your quest to fix your friends, with penghayatan kebesaran Allah? His Kursi. His givings, His forgiveness, His greatness. Start your quest dengan menghayati kebesaran Tuhan. Bukan cuba menghentam kawan2, terus tegur macam-macam, cakap banyak, buat banyak benda-benda lagho, makan banyak, banyakkan sembahyang sunat, jangan dok bergelak banyak-banyak sangat etc..sebab kita semua makhluk tuhan yg lemah. Memang we endeavour ourselves in all these things, any things that we feel to bring us joy. These are the things that fall into the grey area. (pakai tudung, sembahyang, adultery are some of the examples of clear cut rules, not in the grey area). For touching these things that fall in the grey area, kalau tak kena gaya, jadi sensitive, in the end, your companionship yang jadi unpleasant. Not everyone has seen the light like you thought/feel you do. So jangan la approach kawan-kawan style guerrilla.

Why is it so, that when a person thought that or feels like he/she has seen the light, (he/she) they tend to see themselves as superior than other people? The tudung bulat clad women, pandang org lain sebelah mata, or tak pandang langsung. (you thought you have seen the light..or maybe you are doing it out of boredom, most probably you will be sidetracked, majlis ilmu ke mana, apa ke mana when you are married and almost everything is about your spouse. daripada dok condemn wayang, husband punya pasai, aku nak tengok sikit, hampa p dak all these wayang, swimming, and shopping complexes? bukannya p terkinja-kinja di open air concert, bercampur+bersentuhan lelaki-perempuan. hidup mesti wasatiah. takdak salahnya nak p shopping complex or tengok wayang. The key is wasatiah, ada time kita tengok wayang, ada time kita ingat Tuhan. Sambil tengok wayang pun boleh ingat Tuhan jugak. Awat, sa-kata dah berjinak-jinak dengan majlis agama, dah start pandang orang lain tak sebagus engkau tu bagus lah??)

Do they really think that they have seen the light or by sharing some out of mainstream messages make them feel "lebih baik" than other people. I tend to sense positive or negative vibes around me, there are people who can approach us with sincerity, and there are those who..just can't trigger the positive emotion. I welcome goodness, I welcome information, ilmu, there are 'majlis agama' that I enjoy, but I just despise the feeling of negative vibes i get from certain type of individuals.

I strongly belief that there is a difference is seeing the light and still searching for the light. Many may not realize it. But if ever, you thought you are superior than one single person, then, my dear, you have not seen the light.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

And the new hires..

nevertheless, I am still amazed at how, this company managed to hire such courteous people. I mean, people with significant manners...saying thank u with sincerity, hardly raising their voices, placing requests politely. I'm sincerely amazed when I liaised for the first time with one new hire just this afternoon. Low voice, polite and saying thank you in, i can't imagine if he could express any more sincerity in his tone and gestures.

I am not taking this for granted and planning to retire here. But I kinda get to thinking, in God's most gracious ways He grants us with life's pleasures and we often take the life's little pleasures for granted. I forgot to contemplate that despite me, being weak and sinful, if it was not for God's will, His most gracious, that I am currently blessed with these courteous people around me, making my life easier and constantly keeping the faith in me, (despite the Serbian-Bosnian ethnic cleansing and Hindraf) there is still goodness among the different races in this country. Praise the Lord, His most gracious, may we prosper and blessed with harmony.

Turnover rate

There is quite a high turnover rate here in the current company I'm working in. They usually say that it is a phase (much like a trend) where people resigned here and there around you. But in this company, particularly, the trend has been going on since January (that i can remember of) until now..so 8 months going 9. So many management folks leaving, their ratio is as significant as the number of engineers who left. So is it a trend? I think I would say, it is usually a trend, but not in this company, it's not.

Reason being, from my point of view, the people we hire, from engineers to the management, are still young, and yet, they were already involved in such a big project setting up a new company, multiple projects in their tasks list, holding high and important position so...tak payah goreng pun time interview, other companies are more than willing to pay up these people's bonds and offer them a job, with much better pay and higher positions, leaving the older management folks who have decided to settle down and retire in this company. These young guns are like pisang goreng panas. Experience does matter, literally, either way.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Warisan - Anak Kecil Main Api

Anak kecil main api
Terbakar hatinya yang sepi
Air mata darah bercampur keringat
Bumi dipijak milik orang

Nenek moyang kaya raya
Tergadai seluruh harta benda
Akibat sengketa sesamalah kita
Cinta lenyap diarus zaman

Indahnya bumi kita ini
Warisan berkurun lamanya
Hasil mengalir ketangan yang lain
Peribumi merintih sendiri

Masa depan sungguh kelam
Kan lenyap peristiwa semalam
Tertutuplah hati terkunci mati
Maruah peribadi dah hilang

Kini kita cuma tinggal kuasa
Yang akan menentukan bangsa
Bersatulah hati bersama berbakti
Pulih kembali harga diri

Kita sudah tiada masa
Majulah dengan maha perkasa
Janganlah terlalai teruskan usaha
Melayukan gagah dinusantara

Perjuangan yang belum selesai

Perjuangan Yang Belum Selesai - Dr. Mahathir Mohamad

Sesungguhnya tidak ada yang lebih menyayatkan
dari melihat bangsaku dijajah
Tidak ada yang lebih menyedihkan
dari membiarkan bangsaku dihina

Air mata tiada ertinya
sejarah silam tiada maknanya
sekiranya bangsa tercinta terpinggir
dipersenda dan dilupakan

Bukan kecil langkah wira bangsa
para pejuang kemerdekaan
bagi menegakkan kemuliaan
dan darjat bangsa
selangkah bererti mara
mengharung sejuta dugaan

Biarkan bertatih
asalkan langkah itu yakin dan cermat
bagi memastikan negara
merdeka dan bangsa terpelihara
air mata sengsara
mengiringi setiap langkah bapa-bapa kita

Tugas kita bukan kecil
kerana mengisi kemrdekaan
rupanya lebih sukar dari bermandi
keringat dan darah menuntutnya

"Lagi pula apalah ertinya kemerdekaan
kalau bangsaku asyik mengia dan menidakkan,
mengangguk dan membenarkan,
kerana sekalipun bangganya negara
kerana makmur dan mewahnya,
bangsaku masih melata
dan meminta-minta di negaranya sendiri"

Bukan kecil tugas kita
meneruskan perjuangan kemerdekaan kita
kerana rupanya selain memerdekakan,
mengisi kemerdekaan itu jauh lebih sengsara

Bangsaku bukan kecil hati dan jiwanya
bukankah sejak zaman berzaman
mereka menjadi pelaut, pengembara
malah penakluk terkemuka?
Bukankah mereka sudah mengembangkan sayap,
menjadi pedagang dan peniaga

selain menjadi ulama dan
ilmuan terbilang?
Bukankah bangsaku pernah mengharung
samudera menjajah dunia yang tak dikenal
Bukankah mereka pernah menjadi
wira serantau yang tidak mengenal
erti takut dan kematian?
Di manakah silapnya hingga bangsaku
berasa begitu kecil dan rendah diri?
Apakah angkara penjajah?
Lalu bangsaku mulai
melupakan kegemilangan silam
dan sejarah gemilang membina empayar

Tugas kita belum selesai rupanya
bagi memartabat dan
memuliakan bangsa
kerana hanya bangsa yang berjaya
akan sentiasa dihormati

Rupanya masih jauh dan berliku jalan kita
bukan sekadar memerdeka dan mengisinya
tetapi mengangkat darjat dan kemuliaan
buat selama-lamanya

Hari ini, jalan ini pasti semakin berliku
kerana masa depan belum tentu
menjanjikan syurga
bagi mereka yang lemah dan mudah kecewa

Perjuangan kita belum selesai
kerana hanya yang cekal dan tabah
dapat membina mercu tanda
bangsanya yang berjaya

Dr. Mahathir Mohamad
Mei 1996

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Beauty and The Beast - The Broadway Musical

With much anticipation, little expectation, and we get..satisfaction and excitement..with this show.

I bought the tickets online to this show, about 1 month earlier. Well, my brother's a CIMB click user, so he gets to have 15% off on the tickers price. Memang berkat being 'wasatiah', instead of being the typical me, an almost-high-end user (ahem) spending on the RM250-RM350 tickets, i opted for the RM150 tickets, and it turned out to be perfect..hehehehe...

With 15% off, we paid RM127.50. I've never been to a concert before, and I have always thought of going to shows with seated audience..height (ahem), harassments, theft (pickpockets) to me are issues in a typical standing audience concert.

The seating arrangement for the RM150, EEE63, 64, to me is the perfect spot.
It's a tiered seating, and we were at the 2nd tier, tho not much higher than the first tier. We get a clear view of the stage and the actors, we get to see clear synchronization of the backdrop change, the dances and the moves as well as the live orchestrated music under the stage. It was such an awesome experience. We thoroughly enjoyed the show. I would surely get this same seating next year. How else can I measure the perfection other than our satisfaction after the show, am i right?

The show tries to potray as much appearance and acts as from the cartoon version of the movie. We know that there is not too much animation in the cartoon version. No emphasis on talking animals or clumsy jokes. I guess that explains the type of audience in the show. There were couples, if not small groups of girlfriends in their 20s, not many kids turn up as it is a night-show and expected to end nearly midnight. And to our surprise, there were also a number or groups of guys, smartly dressed fit for clubbing, but hey, they were actually discussing about some of the scenes during the intermission in front of us. *Clap*Clap!

The first appearance was a quick scene from the prince and the old witch who transformed him into the beast. There were a couple of gimmick explosions on the transformations of both of the characters. It was brief, but quick enough. I could feel myself partially holding my breath for the next scene. (one of my favourites from the movie).

Then backdrop then quickly and smoothly changed to the famous Belle and Villagers scene. There were some fake 16th century houses made out of boxes i suppose, an old style well with a couple of stairs and scenery painting in the background. The initial appearance of Belle was welcomed with an applause of excitement from the audience. Dressed, looked, even sounded like Belle in the cartoon-movie version, the introduction song of the movie was lively and to me, it was a 3D/human performance depiction of my favourite fairy tale. I can't really explain the rare feeling i had in me and i can still recall that feeling vividly even until now, i was very much amused at how this opening musical act, Belle and the villagers, depicted in a live form at the KLCC Plenary Hall, too good that it brought some tears of amusement to my eyes towards the end of the act. As the song of the act ended, the audience gave a roar of applause, for quite a longer time than just a moment for an applause, and at that instance, this broadway musical has managed to capture our hearts. More and more expectation build up..

The act smoothly changed to the next continuation acts. The backdrops changed, more colourful characters introduced..Gaston and his funny sidekick, the dancers, just to name a few. The storyline continues with Maurice, Belle's father and his inventions. Quite a scientist he is, he was labeled a loony to the rest of the villagers and became a laughing stock. Along with his invention 'car' he proceeded into the woods where he got lost and accidentally stumbled upon an old castle. There is the castle lies the beast and his companions.

As we remember from the movie, not only that the prince was hexed, his assistants were also bewitched into taking the forms of some of the things in the castle. Here began the appearance of other favourite characters, the candle light, Lumiere, the clock, Cogsworth, the teapot, Mrs Pott and her child, chip, the tea cup as well as the wardrobe. There were also other characters added to the show for the dancers, the napkins for the ladies and cutleries for the lads.

Other memorable musical acts that received more thundering applause from the audience are of course, the theme song, Tale as Old as Time and There Must Be Something There that Wasn't there Before by Mrs Potts, Be Our Guest by Lumiere and of course, Gaston song.

In short, for all the musical performances, the synchronization of the dancers, background, lighting changes and orchestrated music are simply awesome.

How else can I express our amusement... Towards the end of the show, there was a technical glitch for about 2 minutes, as the Beast was going to be magically transformed to become the Prince, he was unable to be airlifted and turned round and round, up and down in the air, announcement came and curtains downed, from the crowd..there was no "Ahhh..!", no clutter of noises, but instead we were applauding and some whistling, giving support and showing that we have faith, fix it, it's gonna be good. Merely 2 minutes and the scene continued where it left off, together with another roar of applause. (I don't remember Malaysian crowd being such supportive)

We walked out, pleasantly satisfied, amused. The glitch enhances our support and satisfaction, only made the show better.