Saturday, November 29, 2008

Happy 60th Birthday, Abah.

I pray for your long life, health, wealth (in every way) and happiness in life and hereafter. (and for mom too definitely). Stay slim, stay fit, stay healthy. May God love you two and grants His best places for you.

Amnesia - school years first half

I was in kindergarten for 2.5 years. I played and fooled around most of the first 1.5years. I remember making a lot of noise, throwing pencil in the air with a friend (a bad influence that one) in the class and then got punished (by sitting like a dummy while other friends have gotten their exercise books and doing their homework). Spent too much time in kindergarten, going thru a, b, c's over and over again, ended up as best student at the end of 2nd year.

Basically in the same class with the same classmates for 6 years of primary school years. Standard 1 Hijau, the first and noisiest. I remember even the gardener couldn't tahan our noise and had to scream from over the window to shut us up in std 1, that happened more than twice in two years' time. We'd eventually become noisy again 5 minutes later. Teachers have done their part and continously declared that ours is the noisiest class they have ever met. A few times the headmaster would step inside the class and stared-scanning the whole class whom were then as timid as a mouse. That did not prevent us from starting the noise all over again, as worse or even worse 7 minutes after. Imagine the wall street. Yes, like that.

I was the only one wearing baju kurung in standard 1. I hated the pinafore. Too girly. The ustaz thought I was from an alim family and assigned me, many times, to lead the class in reading verses in front of the class on the black board. Found out that I could do well in sports during the sports day of the school in std 1. Dad was so proud. Fell sick a day before canteen day and ended up with only 20cents in the pocket and heavy school bag the next day. Watched one stupid magic show (that was paid the previous week) and happy kids eating candies and ice creams. Mom and dad never got to know about this.

Std 2 and 3, afternoon session. Began to fall in love in reading. Admired std 5 and 6 students, their pieces of short stories in school magazines mesmerized me. Read them over and over again. School bag was damn heavy, but never complained. (Schooling was very exciting). School subjects didn't make sense to me. I didn't understand what I was learning. Mom asked to copy the subjects timetable but I didn't even know how to read the timetable. Asked a friend (teacher's daughter, teachers pet), she looked bewildered after finding out I did not know how to understand the timetable. Said silently to myself, one day I'm going to be cleverer than you, oh yea, I did and I did her good.

I hated my art teacher for making me, us, wanting to please her for her attention, she was biased. Only liked those cute faces in class. I had the 24-colour pencils with a pissing cartoon sticker on the box. She was amused, probably cause this comot girl had quite a-something there. Picked it up only to toss my new colour pencils on my desk after that which created quite a sound. She realized it, and it and in a don't care way said, "Ops, sorry" and walked away. What a B***h. I'm not surprised if she's rotting now with that kinda attitude. This type of people permanently get biased treatment from me throughout my life. Music class is fun. Singing and memorizing new song every week. Rating-numbering system was introduced. The highest ever got was 4 in std 2. Even that surprised me. Most of the time, I did not understand what the teachers were talking about and why we need to memorize kali-kali.

Std 4 and 5. Actively involved in badminton. Coach loved our team of four. Was nervous in my first tournament, but managed to beat up my later, best friend's sister. English society striked my interest. Began to fall in love with the language, together with strong courage from mom and dad (they discuss cum argue in granma wouldn't understand). Computer class did not make sense to me. Dad retired when in std 4, baught us family motorbike.

Was badly down with fever during the finals in std 5. Still remember Dad told me that I did not have to be afraid if I came back with bad results for the exam on the way home from school on the motorbike. Truth is, I couldn't even remember sitting for any exams. Must have been some pretty bad fever. Result came out, it had never been that bad before. Top boy in class handed out my Alam & Manusia paper and said quitely that I had the worst result in the class. I couldn't comprehend his facial expression if he was concerned, surprised or repulsed. I on the other hand was very worried to be sent to the 2nd class in std 6. Never had that feeling before. With 3rd last position in my report card, good 'ol class teacher, Asa Yun, was still able to push me to be with my friends in the same noisy 1st class. I remember shouting and jumping after the announcement was made. She had a wide smile on her face upon seeing my reaction. She's no more with us. Down with a really bad sickness. Al-fatihah for her.

Std 6, got my period in January. My mind began to function and I began absorbing everything they taught in school. Exams were just a breeze. Actively involved in badminton, in fact too active. Mom came to school to meet with the principle abt it. Tho my results did not drop but mom had always have the nature of being paranoid, even up until now. Miss Principle assured mom that she would put an extra attention on me and I will get straight 4As. (Bloody principle. suka ati dia jaa..mati aku, i thought at that time). So there I was continuing with my interest with only the full support from dad. Mom hardly spoke to me then. Tho under the order of my dad, she sewn my white shorts, it was well admired by my teammates.

State coach tested me out with continous hard lobs during one of the tournaments in Alor Star. Injured my shoulder, quite badly due to that, and just before the final game in 2hrs' time, doubles semi-final. Silently prayed to God to immediately cure the injury and pain for this last game.. Made a promise to God and the pain disappeared almost immediately. I played like I was never injured before. I lost, but I was calm, and satisfied, I wasn't in pain and I had just witnessed a personal experience with God. With strong faith in may get what you wish for. The pain did not even come back during the days after. The story of my faith. Regret to think that I hardly keep the promise even until now. Elected as reserved for the kedah girls team but NO, study should come first, mom said. Could have gotten that beautiful racquet+big storage bag that I have always admired if I joined the team.

Tournaments ended just in time before mom and dad depart for haj in June 1992, leaving us under the care of granma and a big axion case of coins. Started to learn the value of money. Recess time in school I'd have plain rice+fried chicken+gulai ikan for RM1.50, damn delicious. Late afternoons we'd stop the benggali roti in front of the house for breads or sugar candy for each one of us. 2yr old sis loved it very much. Lucky me she still had her teeth just fine when mom came back. Long mid term holidays and we attended extra classes on every school day in preparation for the big UPSR exam. Remember mom called from Mecca, wishing me birthday, realized that despite all the tight schedule i was having, how i was missing them dearly. UPSR trial was like a real exam and mom and dad were still away for haj.

UPSR came and done with. 3-4 more months to go before the year end school holidays. English society and BM club got the best of me. The languages improved. I continued my affection with studying. Must have been the hormones. The learned ones (me and some friends) got popular and became the pets for the new generation of young teachers, whom arrived and introduced some new exciting approach towards learning and fun activities. Gone were the days where teachers made other teachers kids their pets. How revolting.

No class for std 6 students. Played all kinds of sports you name it. Netball, basketball, voleyball, jog the football field 10 rounds etc... (how was I damn fit). Also learned that I was natural at making people laughs in my own way. Teasing people, I did best. Got shunned from sports-house hockey team for one mistake. Silently thought, I'm better than you guys in many other ways, I'd leave you guys behind before you even know it and I will not acknowledge any of you if we ever met in the future. I really did.

Crazy about books. 3pm sharp in school library, borrowed almost half of the library books. James Bond series, greek gods myths, science fiction, history, islam history and akhlak, everything. I wasn't nerdy tho. I cycled, raced with the boys to tuition classes and socialized with the girls. Life was getting a new turn and I enjoyed every moment.

Hari Penyampaian Hadiah - I was sitting in the crowd waiting and watching the many school performances. Until I was called by one teacher to line up for prize giving ceremony. I didn't know what it was for but the I could imagine the teacher just told me to just line up. In front of me was the same top boy, he said, you're receiving the prize for the best girl student in school. You don't know?? This time, he shook his head. (God does has His own way of arranging the things around you, doesn't He?). Tho I knew I was best girl in class, it never crossed my mind to have received such an honour, my extra curricular activities really did a bunch of help. Teachers' sons and daughters cum other teachers' pets have always been the 'it' people and favourites. How have I beaten them teachers and them 'it' people hands down to the ground. Break them legs, and crushed them.

Came home, showed the plaque to my parents. They were shocked. Terkilan to have missed the event. Nobody from school informed them even. Heck, maybe i was too busy playing all sorts of sports that the teacher couldn't get hold of me. Thank God she finally did on the day itself.

UPSR result came out. I wasn't best student for nothing. :-)

.....but computer was still incomprehensible for me., dad, I love you.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Marry a bastard. Marry an asshole. As long as you are married. Or we'll forever be ashamed of you. and dad's mindset.
Damnit. It's almost 10am in this workday-morning and I haven't start working on any tasks. Despite that, I've got 3 thumb drives of pictures of three different events to be uploaded in facebook, I've got my moto V6's firmware to be upgraded, I've got to figure out how to play .flv files in my N95 as I've found a way to download youtube videos but I'm doing none of these either.

I've got the tool form to be created in InfoPath. Wana has been into creating the DEAL form for the past 1month+ and it looks like a lot of editing work. She's the expert now. I'll check with her. Other than that, 4 change requests and some new FTRs.

I've got One of those days where I left my rhythm (most probly might still be) sleeping in bed. Duh. It was raining when I got out of bed this morning.

Gotta get a dose of fridge cold chocolate drink for a kick start on the brain.

hold me now

I'm 6 feet from the edge and I'm thinking
maybe 6 feet ain't so far down..

...just to feel the wind on my face.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008


I have been eye-ing this phone for four years+, even before the V-series was introduced.


V3 - no memory card
V3i - too slim
V3x / V1150 - crazy about this phone first. But too expensive, RM1K+.
V6 maxx - now, I can finally buy...nevertheless, it's a motorola reconditioned product, made in Germany (at least not China).

I was waiting for a friend in Sunway Carnival one weekend, couldn't bring myself to go to Esprit Outlet, I might end up buying yet another pair of pants.

A thought came across my mind, telling me that maybe I can start looking for that Motorola phone that I have always liked, the V series. Besides, I have been using a dear friend's backup set as my 2nd phone for a few weeks already, I should be looking for a new one.

So in I went to each of the phone shops available at the 2nd floor. The one within my budget is RAZR V6 maxx and based on the reviews on the internet, this upgraded version is not bad.

I entered the last mobile phone store on 2nd floor. The one near the carpark. The salespeople were excitedly introducing me to Motorola V series. They themselves are using various V series. And they were especially excited showing the modding they did on their phones. Got me excited too. (fyi, we can mod our moto phones at

Cik guna phone apa sekarang?

OK, apa you punya number, I nk show you something.

Gave him my number and he started calling me from his V6, as he walked some 1.5m away towards his laptop. Turned on some disco-techno music at high volume.

Boleh jawab phone? Ok, jawab, jawab your phone.
As I'm answering..
Cik boleh dengar tak suara saya?


Clear tak?
Ya, ya, very clear Sangat clear a? OK, now tukar phone..

I took his V6 and my N95 was facing the pumping high volume techno music

Sekarang cik boleh dengar tak suara saya??..................

Oh dear, I was quite ashamed of my N95 at the moment.

There was a significant difference in the voice clarity of both phones in a very noisy backgound condition. His V6 could filter the noise excellently, tho the high volume disco techno sound is pumping at the back. Whereas, the music was annoyingly visible on my N95.

Other than that, there is the option to lock every application in the V6, just what I have been looking for. Ya, ya, you can download certain softwares that offer the same security function...but you gotta pay for that software. And it is usually in USD. Or else, you will get a just a trial version. Until now, I have not paid for any softwares for my N95. So, I would really appreciate a mobile device that offers a security option to lock my message box, my multimedia, even my phonebook. And this device offers a lot more than that.

Been in my hands for 6 days now. So far so good. I'm lovin it!

p/s : the plastic cover is foc. will come off once i accidentally crack it.

Too much.

I used to enjoy reading Then like The Todd in Scrubs, he can't seem to help himself from not relating almost every single entry to sex. I'm beginning to wonder if he is actually a potential gay.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Sigh...i did have plenty of things running in my mind, some pretty interesting things, things to blog about, while i was lying in bed, twice two nites....but i can't recall any today....