Day 04 – A song that makes you sad

This topic falls on a Saturday, I was not about to get melancholy over the weekend, so I decided to postpone to Monday. Naturally, Monday is a mourning day. 

Or it should be but today, mostly everything conveniently went according to plan, despite the scorching hot weather. Makes me wonder for a bit if i should stall this topic a little bit longer.

But I think it is a little bit unhealthy to have a lingering melancholic topic somewhere in the back of your mind. I have to let it out.

So for a song that makes me sad is actually a compilation of songs. Some are poetic, some are romantic, but nevertheless, listening to them makes me feel...sad. The songs are mostly composed and sang by the same person. It is not because that I used to live in a melancholic time frame where this set of songs were famous back then, it is rather, the the person, who composed and sang these songs struck a chord deep inside, not just me, but many others. I couldn't help from feeling, i'm sorry for repeating this word over and over again, but no word resonates more accurate representation of what I feel than the word, melancholic, whenever I listen to his songs. So here are some of his songs lyrics, which I hope would trigger the same feeling, or at least understanding why I have chosen them as my sad song(s).

Getaran jiwa melanda hatiku
Tersusun nada, irama dan lagu 

Andai dipisah lagu dan irama
Lemah tiada berjiwa… hampa

As the next generation born after the death of P.Ramlee, we have had only his movies and the songs from his movies to remind us of him. Amazingly, one thing registers amongst us about him, he is, legendary. No other malay movies touch him the way his movies touch us. Though I grew up listening to Radio 4 and living my young adult life to hitz, mix and fly fms, I dare say, and on behalf of many others, P.Ramlee is our pride. 

Tunggu sekejap
Wahai kasih
Kerana hujan masih renyai
Tunggu sekejap
Dalam pelukan asmaraku

Try listening to this song for once, and tell me if you are not smiling. ;)

Bini muda, Hasnah : ohhh sebelum awak nak kerja kan saya, saya koooreeekk biji mata awak
Bini tua, Tipah : amboi dah dirampas laki kita, bijik mata kita dia nak korek
- filem Madu 3

hai mambang biru mambang kuning mambang angin mambang laut...
.. mambang mabok minum brandy - filem Pendekar Bujang Lapok

I Want Iblis Tonic ... Give Me Syaitan & Tonic .. and then give me Haji Bakhil & Tonic, get out, get out! - filem Labu Labi

hey owang sebelah, apa yang ngko wel wel wel kan tu hah - filem Masam Masam Manis
awat yang galah hang terjuloq terjuntai masuk bilik aku ni hoh? Nah hai.. Hang taghik la balik - filem Masam Masam Manis

Watching his happy go lucky movies, led us to imagine that everything used to be pleasant sunny sunshine way back when. No matter how many times I watched his movies, I would never fail to laugh at the characters' antics. Again, I dare say on behalf of many others, we  would wait for our favourite lines in the movies and would burst out laughing like it was the first time us hearing those lines. That is how incredible he is, thus lands him the legendary stature.


Then the true revelation came from History Channel. The life of P.Ramlee, his version of 'THS' was made and aired on History Channel through Astro, instead of RTM. Why you ask, coz RTM fucked him and they fucked him real bad, all those SENIMAN people, they fucked him to his lowest, and to a point where we, the future generation becomes, "..a nation that can't quite forgive itself for the way they have treated.." a legend. 

Dengar
Oh! Jeritan batinku
Memekik-mekik
Memanggil-manggil
Namamu selalu
Sehari kurasa sebulan
Hatiku tiada tertahan
Ku pandang kiri
Ku pandang kanan
Di kau tiada…

Risau
Batinku menangis risau
Makin kau jauh
Makin hatiku bertambah kacau
Mengapa kita berpisah
Tak sanggup menahan asmara
Oh! Dengarlah
Jeritan batinku

To this day, there will never be another P.Ramlee, a common phrase many would utter on TV. But here is the reality check, for the way the seniman people ill treated him in the past, local movie industry, post P.Ramlee to this day, are cursed. Rubbish are produced every year, as I have blogged before, local movies, "tak sah kalau lelaki tak jerkah2, pompuan tak jerit2 and scene rogol2". dafuq. really. How degrading. Tak cukup dgn tu, gangster, rempit, bohjan, bohsia, berturut-turut. Tolong interview mai sat mamat n minah ganster rempit bohjan bohsia mana yg insaf lepas tgk muvi-muvi ni. Seriously. Karya-karya post P.Ramlee era are cursed, with bullshit. Open your mind and start analyzing local films and tv dramas, kenapa ada dialog-dialog kurang ajar banyak sangat. Is this the legacy we are living for our future generation about us? I have a glimpse of how it was way back when in P.Ramlee films. I DEFINITELY CAN'T CONDONE rempits, bohsia, bohjan, kl gansters, kl menjerit, pontianak, kuntilanak AS OUR LEGACY WHERE OUR FUTURE GENERATION CAN HAVE A GLIMPSE ON OUR WAY OF LIFE! Filem2 P.Ramlee tak payah buat script watak-watak kurang ajar pun, and they are legendary! 

"bapak yang bersalah..bapak yang membesarkan sazali dengan penuh kasih sayang dan kemewahan. segala kemahuan sazali bapak turutkan. segalanya sudah terlambat!!"

Now, people, this is how a watak kurang ajar is done in the legendary way.


True, there will never be another such great artist. But just what is wrong with our people , the Malays, to have treated him with such disrespect and devalued him during his post-Singapore days. He came back to develop local film industry and they treated him like they would the lepers. When he passed away, they awarded him Tan Sri and this and that, like they were glad finally nobody would steal their spot light and shit. 

I am so sorry, deeply saddened and full of regret by the way he left this world, poor, despite the many movies and songs, probably feeling defeated, alone, having not completely accomplished his dream to the fullest.  

Nevertheless, the Malays will never learn. Dengki khianat is too deep within them. History seems to be on its way of repeating itself with the way Tun Mahathir is being treated nowadays. When he is gone, when we will be cursed with rubbish leaders, maybe then we'll know? I don't think so. 

Tiada kata secantik bahasa 
Untuk ku puji adinda 
Tiada gambar secantik lukisan 
Nak ku tunjuk perasaan.

Day 03 – A song that makes you happy

Lenny Kravitz's It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over

..everytime.

I don't really have an explanation to this preference. I think it is the melody. It sounds cool to me. I imagined strolling in the spring time's shady sunshine afternoon.

I rarely think of flowers. Not really fond of them. I have tried at making a garden around my house but the activities involved in maintaining them are just not from the heart. What I'm trying to say is, maintenance becomes a chore. You can take th

e hint from the choice of word here, maintenance instead of caring. In the process of gradually changing my interest, I have tried at having a pot of greens in my bathroom, where watering them should be less tasking than brushing my teeth, however, it has only made me convinced even more that plants, gardening and me, we're not in the same clique. It just doesn't click.

But this song, makes me think of the spring time, complete with the shady greenies and flower beds along the paths, and benches for me to sit if I decided to freeze the moment for a little bit. The weather is 20 or 21 degrees Celcius, convenient for me to relax in a long sleeved tee, shirt or a leather jacket, anything goes, never too hot nor too cold.

Endorphins flowing, a smile is evident so this definitely is my happy song.

Day 02 – Your least favourite song

Secondhand Serenade - Fall For You.

This is the mother of all stupid songs (i've listened to).

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

What da fuck are you trying to say? If the girl is impossible to find why would he warned her not to make him change his mind? Siap hold your breath lagi tu. Sumpah perasan bagus. Seriously. This song is about a guy yang sangat perasan bagus. Giving contradicting statements on him being above her but at the same time cannot leave without her, so, she should take this one time opportunity to make him fall for her all over again before he changes his mind, because she should know that she is very rare. Although being very rare does not guarantee her place beside him, she still needs to earn it, because he is above her, better don't make him change his mind.

For all I care, he can go to hell.

Make this the song I hate.

Day 01 – Your favourite song

Right. 

My favouritism comes with addiction. I'd swallow the pills too much till too much is just too much. Most recently, I have been listening to this song till I can't have it on repeat anymore. 

Gravity - Sara Bareilles. 

Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long
No matter what I say or do
I still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone

I like how I can relate this song to addiction, or a love/hate relationship. Not limiting it to a relationship with someone, as in your love interests, or any of your family members or your bffs. 

You hold me without touch
You keep me without chains
I never wanted anything so much
Than to drown in your love and not feel your reign

Also, it isn't limited to just on people, it could be a habbit..porn or gaming addiction, for instance. Or obviously when we mention addiction, it is usually pointing to a substance, alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, caffeine, root beer floats, cakes creams and creme brulees. 

Set me free, leave me be
I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am and I stand so tall
I'm just the way I'm supposed to be
But you're on to me and all over me

But all in all, it is about desires. And during this particular season of my state of mind, i'd like to relate it to our own personal capital vice/s. It may be worth to mention the typical 7 deadly sins, wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony.

You loved me because I'm fragile
When I thought that I was strong
But you touch me for a little while
And all my fragile strength is gone

I think the biggest and most common capital vice would be, lust. Our desires for more things we thought would fulfill whatever it is that we felt are missing in our life. Mistaking wants with needs. 

Set me free, leave me be
I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am and I stand so tall
I'm just the way I'm supposed to be
But you're on to me and all over me

But I think it would be hard for those who struggle between their natural desires and what is deemed as wrong by religion. My faith is in the verse that goes something like this, how do we expect heaven if we are not tested here on earth. I believe overcoming vices is a test from God, should you fail, the consequence is dire.

I live here on my knees
As I try to make you see
That you're everything I think I need
Here on the ground

I think, legalising LGBT rights is about falling in to our vices. But what if you lust for someone you should not? Is it the devil? The devil can only whisper words of encouragement but if he were able to create the feeling, then, as he had said to prophet Muhammad pbuh, then no one will be left out from turning against God.

But you're neither friend nor foe
Though I can't seem to let you go
The one thing that I still know
Is that you're keeping me down
You're keeping me down

So, I think, it is possible to be born gay or the believe of being born in the wrong body. It is as possible as having various fears and phobias, some have it, many don't. There are too many people in human history affected by this for it to be unreal. Even Marxist, such strong power and ideas it once was, could not stand the test of time.

You're on to me, on to me and all over
Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long

Nevertheless, you are only responsible for your actions, not your preference. Everyone has their own cardinal sins. You won't be tested with anything beyond your ability. Whether you act on your natural vices, whatever or whoever they are, is your responsibility. My faith is, being rewarded here and the afterlife should I stay patient and pass the tests laid out for me. So help me, God.

30~Day Song Challenge

OK, I consider this is quite a challenge that I have decided to pursue. My concern is, my interests change with time, together with the current state of mind and moods (my mind+moods lasted for a season, so i think it is pretty valid)...highly likely the selection is more recent unless for one or two. Hm, maybe I should do this every time the season changes.

Anyways, so, for my own amusement, here goes!

Day 01 – Your favorite song
Day 02 – Your least favorite song
Day 03 – A song that makes you happy
Day 04 – A song that makes you sad
Day 05 – A song that reminds you of someone
Day 06 – A song that reminds of you of somewhere 
Day 07 – A song that reminds you of a certain event
Day 08 – A song that you know all the words to
Day 09 – A song that you can dance to 
Day 10 – A song that makes you fall asleep
Day 11 – A song from your favorite band 
Day 12 – A song from a band you hate
Day 13 – A song that is a guilty pleasure 
Day 14 – A song that no one would expect you to love
Day 15 – A song that describes you 
Day 16 – A song that you used to love but now hate 
Day 17 – A song that you hear often on the radio
Day 18 – A song that you wish you heard on the radio 
Day 19 – A song from your favorite album 
Day 20 – A song that you listen to when you’re angry
Day 21 – A song that you listen to when you’re happy 
Day 22 – A song that you listen to when you’re sad 
Day 23 – A song that you want to play at your wedding 
Day 24 – A song that you want to play at your funeral 
Day 25 – A song that makes you laugh 
Day 26 – A song that you can play on an instrument 
Day 27 – A song that you wish you could play
Day 28 – A song that makes you feel guilty
Day 29 – A song from your childhood 
Day 30 – Your favorite song at this time last year

The Elven hymn

Caught in the rip tide,
I was searching for the truth. 
There was a reason I collided into you.

Calling your name in the midnight hour, 
Reaching for you from the endless dream. 
(There’s) so many miles between us now 
But you are always here with me.

Nobody knows why
Nobody knows how and
This feeling begins just like a spark
Tossing and turning inside of your heart
Exploding in the dark

Calling your name in the midnight hour, 
Reaching for you from the endless dream. 
(There’s) so many miles between us now 
But you are always here with me

Oh inside me
I find my way
Back to you
Back to you

Two words
In your hands
In your hearts
It's whole universe

You are always here with me

Robot Koch feat Susie Suh (Here With Me) —

Listen

All aboard !! - part one.

I spent 2 days and a night on a cruise ship recently. It was the Star Cruises Superstar Libra, 2 days 1 night cruise to open waters and back. My expectation was, 1 night..? I don't think that is going to be enough. Should I risk on not sleeping the night and push my brain and body to the limit, risking severe lethargy and sleep debt for a good few days at the next week? Boy, was I wrong. Not 12 hours into, already I couldn't wait for the ship to berth the next day.

We boarded the Libra at 12pm at Penang Port on Friday. There's a dedicated car parking area near the Queen Victoria Clock Tower at rm10 overnight. We had lunch on board and waited around an hour plus for our rooms...I wondered if the ship sailed on a daily basis...it needed to be cleaned prior. So lunch, was either  fried koey teow or fried rice, but everything was a little bit too salty.."coz we're on board a ship bound for the open sea..geddit? geddit??" ......


The salty dishes did not raise any worries in me. I thought well, they should employ many cooks with different specialties, like in a hotel I suppose, probably this cook sipped the coffee a little too hot this morning and burned his tongue, well...nevermind, off to the next fun thing.. 


Unfortunately, not 5 minutes of forgetting the salty sea lunch dishes, I had another concern to worry about, where to get a drinking water? The glass of red-wine-sized of plain water was definitely not sufficient to handle the salty sea lunch albeit neither one of us finished our meals. We weren't allowed to bring any foods or drinks aboard, shouldn't there be a convenient store anywhere in the ship that stocks some personal necessities like, bottled water....or sanitary pads..? Or at least a vending machine or water coolers..? 
Wait..there should be two bottles of complimentary mineral or drinking water in the room later, right...phew ok, crisis averted. 


So we took a few pictures here and there before we were handed with our room key cards. Finding fun spots for pictures, I hate to admit this cause I don't like the movie, I couldn't help myself comparing the experience to Titanic. Oh, look the stairs with the golden painted rails and red carpeted staircases, oh the chandelier, even the picture frames and the wooden walls and the wooden floors and the decos so ship-like..it was so far an interesting experience for those who notice and appreciate the little things in the decorations. And the long corridor lined with doors to hundreds of rooms, yes, I did imagine both Jack and Rose labourously wading through the icy cold water along a corridor such as this trying to get to the upper deck. Deck. How often do you get to use the word, deck, and berthed and make port and mockingly shouting, "All aboaaarrdddd!" and being literally in the correct situation, on a sea ship, tell me? It was exciting, thanks to the easily amused me-self coz otherwise I'll be too tough on myself and develop an early heart attack from the stress of going through this uneventful life.

Our rooms were way way way towards the end of the hundreds of rooms of corridor. It was a long walk of hauling our baggage towards our rooms but we had our imaginations spoken out loud to thank for. My imagination went backwards a few frames of the film though, to the point where Rose was rescuing Jack, chained to an iron beam, with an axe. That upper class dignified petite small framed lady, I should very much assume had never hold an axe in her entire life, had actually managed to successfully, may I remind you, wield that heavy axe with a couple of blows to break off the chains..with her freaking eyes closed, damnit! It's like watching an elaborated tamil or hindi action drama.



OK, so she probably had been riding horses all her life to strengthen those legs firm to the floor in that icy cold water up her waist while she was wielding that axe, cause, there is a high possibility that without training, she would have fallen forward yielding a part of Jack's face instead of, well, Jack.. 
By the way, have you ever walked in a swimming pool with  the water above your waist? Try to recall steadying your feet to the floor and imagine holding a, definitely heavy, wooden handle, iron head axe in your hand, and then, wield it. With or without shoes..whatever..They should have just made her use a key or hair pins. 


So, we arrived at our rooms. We quickly gathered in a room together to plan for our next rendezvous..the deck or the pool or the activity rooms or....? While talking, we were checking on the room, it was rather small, typical to a cabin of course, so pretty cozy especially when accompanied with one square sea viewing see-through glass, the typical cabin-like design of the frame and the glass kept us in the mood, u know...I imagined looking at the sea later oh so pirates of the Caribbean pffttt  :D 


Then I noticed, there was none of that complimentary bottles of mineral/drinking water. Whadda...instead, they gave us these two nicely packed tins of coffee and tea sachets from Genting Hong Kong..without a kettle for hot water, so this is just for you to take back home or drink at other drinking/eating designated places. Those picture takings, long walks, talking and laughing had definitely gotten me really thirsty then. Not only that, there was no token toiletries to be taken home either. Oh, fine!  Not to ruin the moment, we'll just find the convenient store later.

The picture takings and already sharing the pictures via whatsapp and fb have basically drained some of our devices. Our chargers off the bags and in are hands, we looked for plugs or charging ports. Guess what, the room had only ports for, if I am not mistaken, EU standard mains voltage of 220V port and, the other one is set to 110V..used by Cuba, Dominican Republic, Guam, Haiti, Honduras..like what, whatt, whatttt,... wtf??? 
Yes. I am serious. We looked through the rooms. Don't ever think we did not even try to fit our plugs in. Not because we were so dumbed, but rather because we just.could.not.believe.whaddd.daa.FFFF.is.going.on. 

There is only so much a human can handle. I had done my best at telling myself not to go dehydrated. Now this? My two friends as witnesses, I went into a hissy fit. Translation by UrbanDictionary : A sudden outburst of temper, often used to describe female anger at something trivial. 

Well, I surely would like to know how a male throws a fit at the situation described above. There are cameras and laptops and tabs and kindle and mp3 players and external chargers to be charged, yo, how's that for something trivial! 

How is it possible that this ship is not equipped with Malaysian plugs is really, really beyond me. I can't comprehend this shortcoming in such a big ship that offers cruise packages to Malaysian locals. Don't tell me because it is not made in Malaysia, because that would just make you sound rather stupid than funny. 

On of all trips where I decided to leave a book, or any flipable reading materials at all, behind just to enjoy the limited time I have, I was starting to regret. My phone battery, despite the external charger, would be running out of juice very very soon. If I'd known that there won't be a chance to plug in my rechargeable devices at all, I wouldn't have shared the pics to my beloved whatsapp contacts. I would have borrowed my dad's camera. In my effort to limit the electricity dependencies, I have misjudged. But, seriously, who would have thunk! God!! 

Please tell me that I'm wrong because maybe, just maybe, there is a possibility for me to board this ship again in the future. How can an accommodation under an inbound vacation not fit with local charging ports. Isn't it just baffling. Google : "An explainable occurrence that baffle everyone." Yes, our sentiment, exactly !

At the moment, I can't really think of what kind of lesson to be learned from this particular situation. Much ado about the techno hype of the convenience of a phone-camera turning into a camera-phone..

...to be continued.